August 19, 2021
So much is going on.
the siding on our house is finally done. finished one year later. It is done right. i have to say the company made sure it was right. I will have to do a separate post on that.
So, TP and I, along with his brother and wife did a DNA testing.
I really never thought that my results would end up finding an unknown relative.
Anyway, We met with CB Monday August 15, 2021 and here is what we learned:
Cindy's biological mother, Aline Couillard, and Grant,Sr were dating after meeting at a shower for friends Lorraine Morin and Robert Baroni.
I am looking to see when that shower took place. for my own curiosity.
Around the end of January (1956) / beginning of February, Grant Sr, met Rose (in my notes on another blog, I say that Grant sr played on a basketball team in 1955. Grant sr ended his military career in October of 1955. and Grant sr was dating rose after meeting her at a party. you can go to that blog for more. )
Grant, sr was dating them at the same time, (that is a theory Cindy had mentioned, it is possible) He broke it off (so we think) with Aline and got engaged to Rose in April of 1956, Rose was a high school student at the time and was 19. Rose and Grant's engagement was in the paper. I have a copy and I have a letter Rose wrote to Grant.
Grant sr and Rose were married August 19, 1956
At some point, not sure, Grant Sr found out Aline was pregnant. (remember this was 1956, there was no birth control). (haha this was a sentence I added when I wrote to my kids, so I will leave it in as a reference for others, since it was a fact in those days)
Things are sketchy as to when Grant sr was told or new about the pregnancy. (I will have to ask Cindy if she knows more)
What is known is Grant sr's mother (Sarah Evelyn) went to the hospital to see them and then paid for the hospital.
It was in October 2, 1957 that Cindy was born.
Cindy went home with Aline, to Aline's parents home, (Marie and Ovila Couillard) . Aline's parents adopted and raised Cindy as their own. Cindy grew up believing Marie was her mother, but had suspicions growing up..
Cindy grew up with 10 siblings, Aline was considered her sister. During the time she was growing up Aline stayed in the house with her as her sister. (Aline was 28 years old when she gave birth) (grant sr was 25)
In 1965 Cindy's adoptive father, Ovila passed away. In 1980 her adopted mother, Marie Passed. After Marie passed away, Cindy was 24, married and pregnant with her second child. Aline told her at that time that she was Cindy's biological mother.
she asked for the name of her biological father and Aline would not give it to her
Around 1992 (might be 1990 or 91) Cindy had a heart scare. This scared Aline and she then told Cindy the name of her father. ( okay, the 'scared' part is my interpretation of Aline's feelings. )
Cindy found Grant sr's address and wrote him a letter.
Grant, Sr responded and they met at the Ming for 2 1/2 hours. Grant, Sr, talked about his children and his life as Cindy did as well. Grant told her it was with the encouragement of his wife, Rose, that he come and see her. He then explained he could not have a relationship with her and asked her to respect that. Cindy took some time to mourn the loss of her father and then wrote him another letter.
When her children grew, two of them did DNA testing on Ancestry. That is how Amanda and I started chatting.
Cindy has four children 2 girls, 2 boys.
Aline never had any children before her death in 2002
Aline was very instrumental in the Union. (i have a newspaper article on her.
Some takeaways from the meeting
Cindy is the spitting image of Nana Whiteway, who is Grant sr's Mother.
She has the same dry sense of humor as we do. sorry about that. hahaha
She was a bit nervous as we were.
The four of us (grant jr, me, eve, ginny) all felt Rose did ask dad to go see Cindy. But we also feel she, (Rose) was instrumental in him telling her there would not be a relationship.
Cindy had a good life, being the youngest in a large family. Now being the oldest in a large family.
I think she should meet Jimmy next. before all the cousins meet ... It makes sense.
I hope I explained this so you all understand.
PS: I did this for me to look back on also
For some reason, EW could not stop talking about Rose and her family.
I am in touch with CB and have sent some pictures. I will send more later. try to figure JHW meet with her. if he wants to. he may not. anyway. that is it for now.
Sunday August 22, 2021
Well, today is Grant jr's birthday. I am working an overtime shift. these are the days i wonder why people are allowed to drink. jeez what is wrong with people. ugh.
Anyway. I checked about 1/2 of the papers i have ... from dad's house. (grant sr) I found no trace so far. I don't get it. I am so angry at them and i don't want to be, but i am. EW keeps saying she knew. what a liar. she is a lying pos. anyway, maybe there were clues, and i missed them. :( if i did i am sad about that also. i am looking over the Darby side of the family. checking to see if I have the facts right.
that is it for now. I wish I knew. :(
August 26, 2021
Secrets .. so many. Well, someone knows your secret and it will no longer be a secret any longer.
I told my sister a secret i had kept for a really long time. It was nothing bad, it was a one time thing and it shocked and scared me. I held on to it. Never told anyone. until I did. I told her what I was told, what was said to me by my cousins and older sister. It was not a big deal to anyone but my 12 year old self. it was something i should not have repeated. the guilt, the awful gut guilt. she told her therapist. her therapist told her to just ask her cousins if this is true. Get to the truth. Well, it is my truth. what I heard and was told. mine, not hers to tell. Wait, does the fucking therapist not take into consideration me! How will that help my sister deal with her Trauma of being a kidnapped and raped victim. It will not do anything for her. but it could destroy me! how I would feel about that? wtf. No longer will my sister hear my secrets. bye now. bitch. (the Therapist not my sister.) Well, anyway, in my opinion, it is my sister not dealing with our father having a child by circumventing it to something minute. I should never have said anything. These are the simple reasons we are not friends. If she says anything to EW, they will all know. Ugh. Well Secrets will haunt you no matter how small or big.
September 7, 2021 HB Ben. So, I was on tiktok yesterday and asked a question to a medium. she assured me that he is fine with us finding CB ... Also, can you imagine being the youngest of a clan of 10 and then in your mid 20's finding out your an only child, to then becoming the oldest of 6 in your 60's ... holy crap.
mind blown. but it is true. real.
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4/20/220update.... this happened last month.
in trying to keep in touch with all my siblings, I text from time to time. to all of them to see how they were doing. I guess I interrupted GF and CB making plans.... GF was like wtf.... did you know we were making plans. no, maybe, no.... sigh. and her reaction and the way she talks to me is why I just can't .....
5/13/22: well GF texted me and asked if i wanted to go see CB. I could not as I have no car. TP has mine while his is fixed. but, I really did not want to go. not sure why. anyway, i think it may be how i feel about GF right now. silly me...
9/5/25 update.... wow it has been a couple years. no one has reached out to CB as far as I know. GF and CB live in Hudson NH now. GF built a house with her son TP and his wife and 2 kids. they seem to love it. I can't remember when I reached out to CB last. I will have to look.
