4/3/25: Lots happening. Evelyn passed away march 23 at 10:08 ... I decided to retire in two years ... maybe sooner.
3/19/25 I know i am better than that. i am working on my resume' i hope i can finish it in time.
3/11/25: things have changed. CF wrote a letter to the TM. Letter basically is a reward for the other two.. eh.
2/25/25 I am better. on muscle relaxers.. pt starts next week to build my core. well... i am trying to get a better view.. i need to meditate. haha
foxwoods tomorrow for three days two nights free. ha
had to forego getting my car done. so mad. machanic came in double what he told me. i said no i cannot afford it. i was so mad, big feelings, came out in water works eh. picked up the dart today at lunch. so mad at tp... oh well. mad at me too sometimes i think the best and forget they can't reach ... so i need to do something nice for someone. R&R visit on friday. :)
2/12/25
I am better, i think. fyi: people are fn rude
2/11/25
When you know the person above you is worth more and you fight to get them to try to move up. so you too can move up. and you are side swiped by the energetic bunny in another office. I am so mad at myself for allowing others to get the better of me. now i will never go anywhere. 3 years ... i hope i can finish.
I see nothing ..
my hip hurts or is it my ego ... i don't know how this is making feel better. writing that is. i am feeling worse. i have to let it go. i have no control over this situation. too many roadblocks
Why am i allowing this to upset me so much. I don't know. probably because i don't feel like i am worthy of anything. sigh. I don't do anything right. :(
tired of this ..... well right now I am.
It's been an hour .. i am feeling better. i just need to decompress. I am sad. not sure i will be able to write about it right now. but the overall feeling is sadness, stupidly and overlooked.
anyway. hoping for a better afternoon. (real time tears) eh
here it is another hour gone by. i am better ... went home for lunch.
i just need to let go. figure something out
