My Childhood

 Today is 9/8/2021

Holiday Inn:   

My first job.  I loved working there.  I had some great friends working there.  My mother worked in the Laundry room, washing and folding.  I worked weekends, saturday and sunday.  some holidays.  we had to clean 12 rooms each day.  I had a section of rooms.  we always cleaned the vacant rooms also.  We checked them, then raked the rug.  Believe me when I say, there were times the rooms (vacant ones) were used!  or occupied!  ha.  that was awful.  ha.  I will try to remember some of the crazy times we had.   

I was 13 when I started there.  the hotel was in Burlington and is no longer there.   I will see if I can find some pictures.  Anyway, yes, 13 and left at 16.   During the summer, I was full time, working M-Sat.   

We did get tips sometimes.  not much.  oh, just two summers I worked there.  I remember having fun and enjoying working with the wonderful kids.  

more later on my Maid experience.

Wells and Fords.

So, my real first job was weeding for my neighbors Mr. and Mrs Wells and the Fords (no relation) ...  I really did not like it.  

Baskin and Robbins.  

When the mall was built I worked at Baskin and Robbins.  It was fun.  the owner was a jerk and did not come in often.  He hated me cuz I talked back to him.  I loved working there.  I had a great boss and worked with some nice people.  Friday's and saturdays were crazy busy.  I worked there for a year.  my jr. year of HS.   

Tranti

I found another job at Tranti Systems.  I soldered circuit boards my first few months and convinced  the owner of the company to keep me on part time through my senior year.  He sponsored me and I was able to put in 25 hours a week.  It was an interesting time ...  More later 

Home:  

I always tell my sister EW I don't remember.  why, because I am afraid to remember.  Mostly because I am sure there is a lot of trauma I have moved to a locked box in my head.  that is okay...  

I remember at the age of 13 or 14 sitting on my bed looking  out the window smoking a cigarette and my sister EW  and her friend Gail in the bedroom talking about going somewhere and asking if I could go.  EW said no and Gail said, you should be happy to have a sister who wants to hang with you!  EW responded, I hate her, she just wants to follow me and I am not her babysitter.  I hate her.  

ha.  there was a lot of that.  

When the addition was added to the house my dad was sent to Texas for work.  After several weeks my mom went to be with him, leaving us with our mom's mother.  Evelyn snuck out of the house, as well as I did.  I only remember doing it once, going to a HS football game.  

Kathy R came and stayed with us after that.   I remember when my parents came home my mother had a very, very dark tan.  whoa, that was crazy... 

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Another memory:

I remember going under the wentworth's porch.   I don't ever remember going in the house.  the porch was a 'sun room' or an enclosed deck ..  there was three feet of space and it was enclosed or covered in the front of the house.   WW had me come under the deck to show off the candy he stole from the pharmacy in the center.  it was easter time.   i remember being aroud 4 or 5.   I remember crawling under the deck but nothing else after.  

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another thought....

I remember in the summers.  i was 9 or 8   getting up early and being the first one on the parker school parking lot and making the four corners with chalk.   drawing the hop scotch    waiting for everyone to come out ...    judy always came out soon after...   

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as a teenager i remember dancing to the other end of parker st with my radio in my hand.  it may have been a cassette.  or maybe just in my head.   with my halter top and my overalls and my well broken in sneakers.   

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(2/2/22)   Just remembering...   these cold days of snow so high and the 'big hill"  lol.  that hill is no longer there.  I will have to look for pictures of the hill.  The big hill was at the parker school.  and a great sledding hill.   the whole neighborhood would be there.   Such great fun we had.   the hendersons, conrads, wentworth, smith, whiteway, fords, wells, gunther, cataldo, gosh I know there is more.   I loved being outside ...  we would have our wonder bread bags on our feet and hands too if it was too wet or our gloves did not keep the wet out.  our winter garb.  no one ever made fun of you as we all dressed the same.   We all walked to school except for the Marshal.  or middle school.  we could grab the bus at the town hall (now it is the library) or walk the 1.3 miles... or less if you took short cuts.   We did not all have sleds, sometimes we just only had one.  we improvised with cardboard boxes or if we had on a fancy snow suit, we went on our butts.  the snow suits were perfect for but sledding.  we doubled up or pushed with a running start.  haha.   

 

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I remember going to the pellitiers house.  Charron had just gotten her new car.  we were listening to Mr P talking about all the things with the car.  I leaned up against the car and he yelled at me.  asking if i was lazy and did i need a cane and don't ever lean on any cars.  and so on.  He was not very nice...  

I did love charron though.  we shared the same birthday and i remember her being so nice to me.  

(Charron married Jack ... her wedding shower was at RW house and my mom and dad helped them get married.  charron passed from throat cancer.   ) 

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these are split memories for sure.  I remember only bits, small smidgens.  mostly playing at parker school lot.  the summer.   mrs Gallagher, wessell, and mr goulars.  the others ...  they were mean.  

middle school...   grade six walked through the center.  don't remember much of it.

grade 7:  the halls .. haha  i walk through them every day now.   half days at the howe high school...  

grade 8 marshall...  i tried to be friends with some of the girls.  it was awful.  astronomy  ...  social studies...   math...   locker antics

grade 9 algebra teacher whacking me over the head with a book because i wasn't smart like my sister. EW ... i got a lot of that.   

grade 10...   i was sick a lot

grade 11 Deca    1/2 days   worked at baskin and robbins  ....  the opening of the mall ...  then tranti systems...

grade 12  DECA  tranti...  car accident with sissy powers...

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4/20/22

thought of the week.  I remember the oooo's and ahhhh's from others over EW  ....  blond blue eyed beautiful girl, long blond hair, just gorgeous.   then you see RAW's other two children.  short pixie cut, dark hair.  I don't remember having long hair till i was in my teens.  I do remember EW having long hair always.... long and curly.   

I have no idea why I thought of this, other than it is a revelation of how GF and I were treated growing  up.  as a matter of fact she did this (had her hair cut pixie like) to my daughter and GF's daughter (MF) both with dark hair.  never to SP or KF  ...    

Maybe we looked too much like my dad ....  

who knows. 

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Weight loss, yeah right

 Trying so hard, but to no avail.  I have no stamina..

August 31, 2021

Anyway, I treadmilled, with a mask on for 30 minutes today.  hooray for me.   

I am going to try to keep track of what I am doing.   

Ok, I am going to keep track of what I am doing.  focus. focus focus. 

ep

Sept 7.  HB Ben.   Well, I am doing fair.  It's more the afternoon i am having trouble with.

I have been listening to youtube videos on restarting your health.  I am leading up to that.  It may take a bit.  My goal.  Jan 2022 before i see my primary.  I can only hope.    great workout today ...  :)  

Sept 8, 2021 -  Well, this morning I slept in!  My last meal was at 3 pm on the 7th.  I ate at 9:30 am on the 8th.  (eggs only)   my total time was 18 hours of fasting.  I am learning a lot about this.  it is not just about not eating.  Now I have to look into the foods that are best to eat when breaking a fast.  I have had a bit of a headache.   not bad.  I will have to add a bit of salt.  anyway.  it is a trial and error and begin again kind of thing. But, since starting this with doing 10 to 12 hours and cutting out certain foods and drinks, I do feel better.   I am taking a probiotic right now. and bone broth.  I will add the manufacturer of these later on.  .   oh, and i explained to TP what I was doing and he thanked me. (he was happy I shared this with him so when I did not eat, he understood.)   have a good day.  feeing good so far.  

(ps:  tP complained of brain fog.  not sure what that is about.  )  

Sept 9, 2021   HB Owen :) 

I went from 3 pm to 9:30 am ... which is what I did yesterday.  feel pretty good.  a little BM ugh.  haha.  I kind of figured that would happen.  30 min walking today.  need to add to it.   bit of a headache yesterday afternoon.  need more  salt?  Hit or miss. haha.  down a couple pounds.

March 15, 2022:  update, i am (as of january )  158  I am very happy about that.   I need to continue.  I stopped drinking.  only now and again.  rare.  ;)  So I am trying to get to the gym.  not good.  eh  

May 13, 2022:   been going two to three times a week.  saw the neurologist.  she wants to do some testing.  part of me is done with doctors.  I guess i am blessed to be able to go.  I have to think about the course of treatment for my legs.   I am wavering....  need to change things up.   more yoga/stretching/working out.   walking....  ugh.

  

TP DNA

 August 19, 2021

Before I forget.  I am tracing a fun ...  okay may only to me...  family thing on TP's Line.  

So here is his line

Annette Gaudreault (TP Mom)

    Paul Gaudrealt (TP Grandpa)   his sister (Azile Gaudreault)

    Delphine Girard (TP Grandma)

        

William Stuart Patriquin (TP dad)

    William L Patriquin (TP grandfather)

    Melvina Bergeron (TP Grand mother)    

        Damian Bergeron ( TP Great Grandfather)   Maurice Moses Joseph is his brother

                 Azile Gaudreault  married Maurice Moses Joseph Bergeron

and Azile and Moses are the grand parents of Tom Bergeron.  

Meeting an unknown relative

 August 19, 2021

So much is going on.  

the siding on our house is finally done.  finished one year later.  It is done right.  i have to say the company made sure it was right.  I will have to do a separate post on that.

So, TP and I, along with his brother and wife did a DNA testing.  

I really never thought that my results would end up finding an unknown relative.  

Anyway, We met with CB  Monday August 15, 2021 and here is what we learned:

Cindy's biological mother, Aline Couillard, and Grant,Sr were dating after meeting at a shower for friends Lorraine Morin and Robert Baroni.  

I am looking to see when that shower took place.  for my own curiosity.  

Around the end of January (1956) / beginning of February, Grant Sr, met Rose   (in my notes on another blog, I say that Grant sr played on a basketball team in 1955.  Grant sr ended his military career in October of 1955.  and Grant sr was dating rose after meeting her at a party.  you can go to that blog for more. )  

Grant, sr  was dating them at the same time, (that is a theory Cindy had mentioned, it is possible)  He broke it off (so we think) with Aline and got engaged to Rose in April of 1956, Rose was a high school student at the time and was 19.  Rose and Grant's engagement was in the paper.  I have a copy and I have a letter Rose wrote to Grant.

Grant sr and Rose were married August 19, 1956

At some point, not sure, Grant Sr found out Aline was pregnant.  (remember this was 1956, there was no birth control).  (haha  this was a sentence I added when I wrote to my kids, so I will leave it in as a reference for others, since it was a fact in those days)  

Things are sketchy as to when Grant sr was told or new about the pregnancy.  (I will have to ask Cindy if she knows more)   

What is known is Grant sr's mother (Sarah Evelyn) went to the hospital to see them and then paid for the hospital. 

It was in October 2, 1957 that Cindy was born. 

 Cindy went home with Aline, to Aline's parents home, (Marie and Ovila Couillard) .   Aline's parents adopted and raised Cindy as their own.  Cindy grew up believing Marie was her mother, but had suspicions growing up..  

Cindy grew up with 10 siblings, Aline was considered her sister.  During the time she was growing up Aline stayed in the house with her as her sister.  (Aline was 28 years old when she gave birth)  (grant sr was 25)    

In 1965 Cindy's adoptive father, Ovila passed away.   In 1980 her adopted mother, Marie Passed.   After Marie passed away, Cindy was 24, married and pregnant with her second child.   Aline told her at that time that she was Cindy's biological mother.  

she asked for the name of her biological father and Aline would not give it to her

Around 1992 (might be 1990 or 91) Cindy had a heart scare.   This scared Aline and she then told Cindy the name of her father. ( okay, the 'scared' part is my interpretation of Aline's feelings. )  

Cindy found Grant sr's  address and wrote him a letter.  

Grant, Sr responded and they met at the Ming for 2 1/2 hours.  Grant, Sr, talked about his children and his life as Cindy did as well.  Grant told her it was with the encouragement of his wife, Rose, that he come and see her.  He then explained he could not have a relationship with her and asked her to respect that.   Cindy took some time to mourn the loss of her father and then wrote him another letter. 

When her children grew, two of them did DNA testing on Ancestry.   That is how Amanda and I started chatting. 

Cindy has four children 2 girls, 2 boys.   

Aline never had any children before her death in 2002

Aline was very instrumental in the Union.  (i have a newspaper article on her. 

Some takeaways from the meeting

Cindy is the spitting image of Nana Whiteway, who is Grant sr's Mother.

She has the same dry sense of humor as we do.  sorry about that. hahaha

She was a bit nervous as we were.  

The four of us (grant jr, me, eve, ginny)  all felt Rose did ask dad to go see Cindy.  But we also feel she, (Rose) was instrumental in him telling her there would not be a relationship.

Cindy had a good life, being the youngest in a large family.   Now being the oldest in a large family.  

I think she should meet Jimmy next.  before all the cousins meet ...  It makes sense.  

I hope I explained this so you all understand.  

PS:  I did this for me to look back on also

For some reason, EW could not stop talking about Rose and her family.  

I am in touch with CB and have sent some pictures.  I will send more later.  try to figure JHW meet with her.  if he wants to.  he may not.  anyway.  that is it for now.  

Sunday August 22, 2021

Well, today is Grant jr's birthday.  I am working an overtime shift.  these are the days i wonder why people are allowed to drink.  jeez  what is wrong with people.   ugh.

Anyway.  I checked about 1/2 of the papers i have ...  from dad's house.  (grant sr)  I found no trace so far.  I don't get it.  I am so angry at them and i don't want to be, but i am.  EW keeps saying she knew.  what a liar.  she is a lying pos.  anyway, maybe there were clues, and i missed them.  :(   if i did i am sad about that also.  i am looking over the Darby side of the family.  checking to see if I have the facts right.  

that is it for now.  I wish I knew.  :(   

August 26, 2021

Secrets ..  so many.  Well, someone knows your secret and it will no longer be a secret any longer.  

I told my sister a secret i had kept for a really long time. It was nothing bad, it was a one time thing and it shocked and scared me.  I held on to it. Never told anyone.  until I did.  I told her what I was told, what was said to me by my cousins and older sister.   It was not a big deal to anyone but my 12 year old self.  it was something i should not have repeated.   the guilt, the awful gut guilt.   she told her therapist.  her therapist told her to just ask her cousins if this is true. Get to the truth.  Well, it is my truth.  what I heard and was told.  mine, not hers to tell.   Wait, does the fucking therapist not take into consideration me! How will that help my sister deal with her Trauma of being a kidnapped and raped victim.   It will not do anything for her.  but it could destroy me!   how I would feel about that?  wtf.   No longer will my sister hear my secrets.  bye now.  bitch. (the Therapist not my sister.)  Well, anyway, in my opinion, it is my sister not dealing with our father having a child by circumventing it to something minute.   I should never have said anything.  These are the simple reasons we are not friends.  If she says anything to EW, they will all know. Ugh.  Well   Secrets will haunt you no matter how small or big.   

September 7, 2021  HB Ben.  So, I was on tiktok yesterday and asked a question to a medium.  she assured me that he is fine with us finding CB   ...    Also, can you imagine being the youngest of a clan of 10 and then in your mid 20's finding out your an only child, to then becoming the oldest of 6 in your 60's    ...  holy crap.   

mind blown.  but it is true.   real.   

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4/20/220update.... this happened last month.  

in trying to keep in touch with all my siblings, I text from time to time. to all of them to see how they were doing.  I guess I interrupted GF and CB making plans....    GF was like wtf.... did you know we were making plans.  no, maybe, no....  sigh. and her reaction and the way she talks to me is why I just can't .....  

5/13/22:  well GF texted me and asked if i wanted to go see CB.  I could not as I have no car.  TP has mine while his is fixed.  but, I really did not want to go.  not sure why.   anyway, i think it may be how i feel about GF right now.   silly me...  

9/5/25  update.... wow  it has been a couple years.  no one has reached out to CB as far as I know.  GF and CB live in Hudson NH now.  GF built a house with her son TP and his wife and 2 kids.  they seem to love it.     I can't remember when I reached out to CB last.  I will have to look.